He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
