hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
