I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
