I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He? As in you personified your dick?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
