"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
