I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
