I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
ok first of all what the fuck
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
