The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
