HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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