hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
