Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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