let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
