It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
