do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
