I think im going to throw up on grandma
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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