you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
