swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
