Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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