Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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