I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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