We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
