wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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