mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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