I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
