And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
