New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
