He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
