I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize