Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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