i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
