its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
