I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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