There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
the gays at disneyland are vicious
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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