Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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