I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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