Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
