they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
