somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
