In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
home. puking in laundry basket.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
