im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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