I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You smell like stripper and shame
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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