i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
