If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
