we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
