Can Purell be used as lube?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
