you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
