your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
