This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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