some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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