He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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