I accidentally burped into my bong.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
