I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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