That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
