On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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